Urban Sasquatch

An Albino Mongoose Production

Many of you have heard, by now of the "mythological" creature known as Sasquatch, Bigfoot, Yeti and, in one isolated mountain community, The Big Bastard. Rumors, stories and legends have been circulating throughout various cultures of the world for decades and there are few alive who do not recognize the name and associate it with a large, peaceful almost lovable man-like animal. Popular American culture has even sunk so low as to trivialize the beast by using it as a source of comedy, as witnessed in the horrifying, deplorable and utterly offensive Harry and the Hendersons film. Thus, it seems, have the world's population been lured into an almost sleepy sense of security about the existence of the man-beast they consider a mere curiosity, an amusing myth, a laughable campside yarn.

Which is just what Sasquatch wants.

While you rest easy, secure in your homes reading your Time-Life Mysteries of the Unknown books about Bigfoot prints found in the seventies on some remote mountain in Oregon, Sasquatch is on the move, making plans, scheming. And what is it he's working on? Nothing less than the complete and utter annihilation of the human race itself.

Thats right, you read it correcttly: Sasquatch wants you dead and he wants it bad.

To accomplish this he has made a move so clever and unexpected that few alive are even slightly aware of the remote possibilty that it may or may not be occurring. But rest assured, folks, it is.

You see, Sasquatch knows how you view him, as a shy, wary mountain creature afraid to be seen by drunken hunters and the odd homosexual lumberjack. So what does he do? He heads for the cities. He lives now, even as we speak, right under out noses, in urban and suburban areas of the world, plotting a gruesome demise to humanity and all its works.

This site has been created as a bastion of hope against the onslaught of the evil, murderous man-beast. Here we will chronicle the ongoing battle to reveal and disrupt the conspiracies of the monster that is, even now, devising our extinction. You will read about the valiant struggles of a team of brothers, a band of men, real men, who stand alone in the face of the towering tsunami wave of the inevitable Human-Sasquatch War.

It is a fight they cannot win alone. They will need your help in this battle. You must believe. Believe in them, believe in this cause, believe in yourself. Believe that we can win and that Sasquatch will not defeat us while one stinking human remains alive to defend our species.

Stand with us.