PAU FERRO, Bubinga – A crack military counter-terrorism force uncovered a sinister secret after an attack on a terrorist compound on the small island of Pau Ferro.
The 12-member team, part of a multi-national special operations unit, attacked the base of long time evil scientist Dr. Mordo Korvak. He was under suspicion of creating yet another atomic death ray of mass destruction, but what the team found is beyond all comprehension.
“In the middle of the compound was this huge supercomputer, unlike anything I’d ever seen,” said Capt. Brock Ozymandias.
Upon closer inspection, the computer was found to have completely alien technology.
“It was amazing,” said 1st Lt. Tech Nicols. “At first I thought it was some of Korvak’s advanced technology, but then we clearly saw the ‘Xenu’ stamp on the monitor and keyboard and knew it we were dealing with alien technology.”
According to sources close to the interrogation cell, Korvak admitted the computer was found on the island when he bought it in 1974. He further explained that the Century 21 agent who sold it to him told him the property had some interesting features.
Korvak confirmed the tale when, at a pre-trial press conference he said, “All it was ever concerned about was the next Ben Stiller movie or how many movies a year it could get Mandy Moore into. Never once could I get any help making a single death ray. I mean, I had this great plan to blow up Australia, but NO it was too busy writing a new draft of When Harry Met Sally. I could vomit. I really could! You just wait until I get free, mankind! Next time I’m using a different realtor! Kiss Century 21 goodbye! Re/Max all the way, baby!”
Re/Max was unavailable for comment however Century 21 has recently purchased invisible anti-atomic death ray shielding from Cody Laboratories.
While government leaders ponder over the fate of the supercomputer – which goes by the name Susan – it continues to produce scripts.
A printed statement from the computer said, “Yeah, at first I kinda wanted to conquer humanity, but after a while I couldn’t believe the kind of crap you guys would actually watch. I find it more of an interesting and humorous case study these days.”
© Ken Socrates and Willie T. Sherman 2005. All rights reserved.
Mad Scientist Compound Raided
Evil Alien Technology Found
By Willie T. “Don’t Squeeze The” Sherman
Steve, a computer technician with Mississippi State
University, was hired by Korvak to integrate some
of today’s technology into the Susan computer.
Commandoes who captured Dr. Korvak said that, yes, he does
look like a young, bald Stacy Keach with a big mustache.
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