Wedding Bells For Ken:

It is with nervous trepidation that the staff here would like to announce that, against all rational consideration and in blatant violation of several sworn oaths made after the grim dissolution of his eighth marriage last year, Mr. Ken Socrates has decided to test the taut bonds of matrimony for the ninth time. He and his new fiance, Ms. Chavenay Toitrouge, are now engaged to be married on January 7th, 2007 in Paris, France. This section will, until that time, remain a constantly updated source of information about the proceedings that will, hopefully, satisfy the inevitable public clamour for the grisly details.

What Has Gone Before
It is no secret to anyone even vaguely familiar with the illustrious history of our intrepid leader that his personal life is not exactly a shining example of stability and structure. His matrimonial record, in fact, would be exhibit 'a' as can be seen in this retrospective that examines Ken's previous eight marriages. Part One of Two.

Update:

What Has Gone Before, Part ll
Finally, the second part of our in depth examination of Ken's prior experiences in the matrimonial arena. Learn all the secrets and scandals involving wives five through eight and watch our man find the celestial highs and abysmal lows of romance on the edge.

Plus:

Chavenay and Ken's Wedding Registry
Don't know what to get the happy couple? Here's their
itemized list of things sure to make the start of their new
life together blissful and, at the least, materially satisfying.

An Open Letter From Debbie Harry
A voice from Ken's past chimes in with some words
of wisdom and perhaps warning for the happy couple.