Greetings and welcome to Ken Socrates, Voice of the People, a site dedi- cated to bringing uniquely relevant news and information to the discriminating reader. Let's face it, the Internet is a vast, electronic suck-hole, an out-of-control, downwardly spiraling whirlpool of mindless disinformation dragging you straight towards hell. Chances are, if you've been online for more than three months, you're either a greasy, sweat-soaked porn-addict or a slack-jawed drooling idiot who makes smiley faces out of punctuation. Ken believes that you deserve better. Ken understands that much of what has led you astray is due to relentless bombardment by gargantuan corporate conglomerates who will stop at nothing less than your complete mental and emotional dismemberment. Ken realizes you are weak willed but he forgives you and, damn it, Ken cares.

Well, enough is enough. Here is a place you can come to escape it all, where you will not be judged, where you will never feel stupid or inadequate because we're all stupid and inadequate here. Here is a place you can feel safe amidst the chaos of technology gone amok. We give you... Ken Socrates.